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Posts Tagged ‘Xabi Alonso’

"I swapped me shirt for a pair of flares"
::: FistedAway welcomes a guest post from Elliott,
editor of the rather lovely Futfanatico :::

The path from the cusp of destruction to redemption has been a long one for Liverpool FC fans. Bad apple Americans owners. The departure of Rafael Benitez. The exodus of star players like Xabi Alonso. Roy Hodgson. So you can forgive Scousers for getting excited over possibly winning the Carling and FA Cup. However, a few have taken things a bit far.

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::: FistedAway today welcomes a guest post from Elliott, editor of the rather lovely Futfanatico :::

A year ago, Fistedaway dug up enough dirt to bury the Gaza pyramids. We speak, of course, about Cristiano Ronaldo’s soiled Iberian member. The rumor was unfounded yet simple and easily believed – he longed for a lovechild with Xabi Alonso’s wife. Manuel Pellegrini, feeling the heat and desperate for a unifying team moment akin to Chelsea’s Terrygate, attempted to fuel the flames of this love triangle. Yet our lying sources never confirmed the consummate act. Until now.

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::: FistedAway today welcomes a guest post from Elliott, editor of the rather lovely Futfanatico :::

We first broke the news about Ronaldo’s bad behaviour in December, when his lust for breaking goals and boundaries threatened to tear Madrid apart at the seams. Then, in February, we followed up on the story as the Alonso-CR9 penalty dispute shed light on the locker room frustrations among the merengues. And now, with Madrid winning a record number of games but still behind Barcelona, we report on the Pellegrini reports. You see, the Chilean’s job is in jeopardy. Manuel finds himself on the hot seat not for his team’s tactics on the pitch, but its antics off it.

In February, when Barcelona looked unbeatable and Madrid faced a mountain to climb, the Chilean looked across the pond (Ed.- it’s a big pond) for inspiration. He saw how the John Terry scandal had united both Manchester City and Chelsea. He realized that only a similar style of adversity could unite his group. And he knew just the slick haired gentleman to play the part of cuckold-doodle-doo.

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::: FistedAway today welcomes a guest post from Elliott, editor of the rather lovely Futfanatico :::

Just when you thought that two professionals working for the same organisation could put a personal dispute behind them, just when you start to believe the company comes first, drama behind closed doors manifests itself in the office. Many of you saw the Xabi Alonso-Cristiano Ronaldo penalty dispute. But only a few connected the dots.

A few months ago, we reported erroneously that Cristiano Ronaldo steadfastly insisted on holding all of Madrid’s records. This included impregnation of wives….including Xabi Alonso’s wife. Since the article’s publication, our lying sources indicate the situation has rapidly spiraled out of control. And all because of the cunning Cristiano Ronaldo.

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::: FistedAway today welcomes a guest post from Elliott, editor of the rather lovely Futfanatico :::

When Cristiano Ronaldo made the jump to Madrid last summer, he set a high bar by citing Alfredo Di Stefano’s goal record and Champions League victories. The media gobbled up his remarks – was this another cocky winger or the next galactico? Despite a deluge of goals and victories since putting on the blanquillo shirt, criticisms have appeared from an unlikely source: teammates.

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Rafa

::: FistedAway today welcomes a guest post from Elliott, editor of the rather lovely Futfanatico :::

Liverpool fans floated on cloud nine last April, their beloved Reds within striking distance of Manchester United for the league title, and a semi-final date with Chelsea in the Champions League. Then, to put it simply, the wheels came off. Benitez’s zonal marking made a second choice rightback look like a giant, and the second-to-last-weekend proved a bitter pill. At least, until the summer came along.

Liverpool sold midfield fulcrum Xabi Alonso to Real Madrid, replacing him with the unproven, seemingly mythical Alberto Aquilani. While Rafa did purchase the impressive Glen Johnson, the fans were confused. Where had the transfer kitty really gone? Where was the second Torres to complete an unstoppable offense? Rafa complained to the press about stingy American owners, but recent facts have come to light.

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