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Posts Tagged ‘World Cup’


4+8 = Euro 2012

For almost two years, English fans trembled in fear and bowed their heads in shame. For over a decade, the glorious tandem of Steven Gerrard and Frank Lampard had bravely led the Three Lions to countless second rounds. Sadly, it appeared that Don Fabio Capello had forever axed the dynamic duo following World Cup 2010. Brits feared that they may never see the terrific tandem together in action again. Luckily, in one simple announcement, Roy Hodgson has revived the dreams of a nation.
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::: FistedAway today welcomes a guest post from Elliott, editor of the rather lovely Futfanatico :::

Not since the Frankenstein-themed tale of Michael Owen Hargreaves has such a sad injury story buzzed to our attention. But during this last World Cup, we noticed two very odd occurrences. First, Robin Van Persie was playing soccer. Second, Arjen Robben was playing soccer. Could it be true, we thought? Have they conquered their injury troubles? We did a little digging though, and soon Van Marwijk’s terrifying plan came to light. And beware – it flies in the face of reality.

As any Arsenal fan can attest, Robin Van Persie is the perfect forward – a good frame, increasingly two-footed, and with a wonderful pivot, the Dutchman can dominate games when fit. That, however, has been the sticking point: “when fit.” Van Persie suffers from a unique medical condition known as “soresy ankles”, in which the slightest anticipation of pain causes them to cave in. Van Marwijk fields Van Persie when fit, but grew frustrated by the chronic injuries. He hatched a plan – could he create the perfect player by eliminating the boy’s ankles? Or replacing them? But how? And with whom?

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Following fresh accusations of vote-buying, the Russia 2018 World Cup bid team has sought to reassure FIFA with a clear, open and transparent bribe.

Speaking at a press conference in the bid headquarters of an abandoned steel mill, bid chief Alexei Sorokin expressed his disappointment at the fact these accusations were mentioned without using any of the code words. “Hosting the World Cup in Russia would be a monumental occasion and we would not dream of doing anything to damage that”, urged the bid chief. “Of course, we also wouldn’t dream of doing anything to your kneecaps, or that soft, soft face”.

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