Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘teddy sheringham’

With Jermain Defoe’s astonishing five goal haul almost certainly confirming his place in the England squad for South Africa*, spare a thought for Michael Owen. The ex-England striker is believed to have spent a blurred Sunday night re-watching his 1998 goal against Argentina, six times. Which is a whole one more than five.

The video showcase began sometime around 4.46pm on Sunday as Defoe drilled in his fifth goal. Owen’s neighbours reported hearing an exasperated Martin Tyler, seemingly hired for the day, forced to provide live commentary each time that the striker rewound the clip. Though some ear witnesses swore that they heard “noticeable wails” from Owen whenever Tyler said the words “this 18-year-old has electrified the world”.

(more…)

Read Full Post »

"Look upon my works ye mighty, and wonder how I get paid for this"

"Look upon my works ye mighty, and wonder how I get paid for this"

1. Jackson 5

They say you should never go back, and that is certainly true for me and certain parts of Glasgow. But a comeback at this level, at this age? Moreover, I can’t believe the tactical naivety of these jokers. You just can’t continue to play that formation when you are getting no movement whatsoever from the frontman.

(more…)

Read Full Post »

Teddy-Sheringham

Cleaners at the Orange Arena have discovered that visiting ITV pundit Edward ‘Teddy’ Sheringham has actually been continuing a solitary discussion of the most obvious talking points of the Netherlands vs England friendly for almost a full week after the match ended, without anyone noticing.

“I could hear a whinnying unmodulated drone coming from the room, but I assumed that Edwin (a new member of the stadium cleaning team) had just left the humidifier on again” revealed head cleaner Dirk van Cleef. “He is such a slungel!”

“Yes, Edwin too” added van Cleef.

(more…)

Read Full Post »

tonycas

1. My Thumb

thumbs

Strong, dominant, upright. It is the captain of my hand. And if my thumb was to be consistently found wanting at international level, park in disabled spaces, openly urinate into pint glasses in the middle of pubs, commit adultery I would still defend it to the hilt.

(more…)

Read Full Post »