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Posts Tagged ‘Swindon Town’

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Read Paintball in full – in full, you hear!

It is called Paintball – great brand synchronicity, guys! I bet there was a shower of high-fives, backslapping and moonwalking in the office that day; some lucky shark got to go home early.

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After Swindon manager Paolo Di Canio’s recent proclamation that he wanted “a team of 100 Paolo Di Canios“, experts in cloning and eugenics have been brought into the fold at the Wiltshire club to try to make his dream a reality.

Interim Chairman Jeremy Wray is believed to have personally ordered the groundsmen from their shed, and set about creating a temporary science laboratory there instead. Wray is hopeful that if the team of boffins goes without “food, drink, light and sleep” they could reach their goal of 100 fully functioning Di Canios by Christmas, allowing the team to push on in the hunt for promotion from League 2 and cunningly bypass the January transfer window.

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FistedAway can today exclusively bring you details of a memo discarded by Swindon Town’s PR department, which was exclusively found after exclusively rummaging through the (exclusive) bins outside the County Ground.

The document, from interim Chairman Jeremy Wray, sets out the useful phrases which may be used by any staff members ‘put on the spot’ by journalists asking difficult questions about new manager Paolo Di Canio’s well-publicised political views:

  • “Look, not everyone agrees with Paolo’s methods. But he makes the training run on time”

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Paul Hart's eyes tender resignation from his face

Following Swindon Town’s relegation to League Two, Paul Hart’s eyes have formally tendered their resignation. With an Easter Monday loss to Sheffield Wednesday sealing Swindon’s relegation, Hart’s eyes resigned from his face in a tearful post-match meeting with Town chairman Andrew Fitton.

It comes as the latest blow to Paul Hart’s increasingly troubled physiognomy, with key players – both ears and his nose – refusing to sign new contract with the face and slowly heading for the exit at the end of the season. (more…)

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