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Posts Tagged ‘Owen Hargreaves’

::: FistedAway today welcomes a guest post from Elliott, editor of the rather lovely Futfanatico :::

Not since the Frankenstein-themed tale of Michael Owen Hargreaves has such a sad injury story buzzed to our attention. But during this last World Cup, we noticed two very odd occurrences. First, Robin Van Persie was playing soccer. Second, Arjen Robben was playing soccer. Could it be true, we thought? Have they conquered their injury troubles? We did a little digging though, and soon Van Marwijk’s terrifying plan came to light. And beware – it flies in the face of reality.

As any Arsenal fan can attest, Robin Van Persie is the perfect forward – a good frame, increasingly two-footed, and with a wonderful pivot, the Dutchman can dominate games when fit. That, however, has been the sticking point: “when fit.” Van Persie suffers from a unique medical condition known as “soresy ankles”, in which the slightest anticipation of pain causes them to cave in. Van Marwijk fields Van Persie when fit, but grew frustrated by the chronic injuries. He hatched a plan – could he create the perfect player by eliminating the boy’s ankles? Or replacing them? But how? And with whom?

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::: FistedAway today welcomes a guest post from Elliott, editor of the rather lovely Futfanatico :::

The Capello reign of England has been characterised by one theme: discipline. From intense training sessions to WAG and cell phone bans, the Italian has instilled a meritocratic selection regime fueled by the foot soldier’s mentality. Which makes the recent untrue rumour of his prank on Michael Owen all the more shocking.

Owen has been Capello’s bogeyman, his mercurial form for Manchester United eliciting calls for selection and rejection, sometimes in the same day. Yet a telephone call by the Italian a few months ago set in chain a prank crueller than the injury inducing fate of the striker’s blotted career.

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owen_crutches-thumb-180x306-89619 owenh

::: FistedAway today welcomes a guest post from Elliott, editor of the rather lovely Futfanatico :::

The Owen signing threw Red Devils fans for a loop this summer, and the obvious question surfaced: why? Why on God’s green Earth did Sir Alex sign him? Was this the shrewdest of business deals? Is Owen intended to be this season’s Henrik Larsson? Or did Sir Alex merely wish to rub salt in the Scousers’ wounds? To uncover Sir Alex’s motivation, we must look no further than United’s forgotten midfield fulcrum: Owen Hargreaves.

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alexfergusonbarrel

Sir Alex Ferguson today insisted that Manchester United were not facing any financial hardship,  whilst inexplicably wearing a barrel. Speaking at the launch of Manchester United’s 2009-10 away kit – “Skins” – the manager sought to calm Manchester United supporters worried about a lack of transfer activity so far during the off season.

“There are some amazing numbers being talked about, not all of them realistic”, the rubicund Scotsman gurgled. ” Sure we could go about, spending our money, chasing the fleeting promise of glory like a grubby ten pound note in the wind. Just out of reach, DAMMIT.  But that would be irresponsible.

Are you….are you going to finish that soup?”

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