Posts Tagged ‘Ledley King’

Welcome once more to my World of Zoos, I am Stuart Hall, and I knew your mother quite well in the 1970s. Due to the so called credit crunch I am loathed to report that I haven’t been jetted off to far flung lands, rich in biodiversity and exotic cocktails. I do like a cocktail. But I digress. NO! So I shall be visiting a zoo in our very own Londinium Town: Tottenham Hotspur. The kind folk at FistedAway offered me money for the omnibus, and I declined; I do not, and shall not, use public transport (though I confess, I do like the sound of an ‘oyster card‘. Delicious!). This is not because I am adverse to you, the public – o, heavens no! I love you all like an absent Uncle who is somehow still your favourite – but it is style, dear boy, style that concerns me. Wouldn’t you rather step crisply from a gleaming automobile than stumble from a motorised Charabanc? I would, so I pocketed the cash and fired up the Jaguar S.

Anyway, “THE ANIMALS STUART!”, I hear you cry it with whiskey soaked passion, like Alex Ferguson arguing with the passage of time itself. “NO! you listen to me, that was never 5 minutes. This, THIS is five minutes………




But I am a disciple of time – a lover of clocks, the slipping sands and the endless beat – so I shall not waste any more of yours, lets take a look inside. The path ahead leads to a gate; a gate beyond which a veritable bounty of farmyard life sprawls.


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Following Darren Bent’s Twitter indiscretion, Spurs have met with more embarrassment as their newly appointed social media monitor is only a week into the job and already reputedly on the verge of quitting in disillusionment at ‘the torrent of inanity, self-obsession and quizzes. Oh god, the quizzes’.

Speaking to FistedAway under the condition of anonymity, the monitor lifted the lid on the unimaginable horror of having to wade through every single missive from professional footballers.


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