Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘Joe Cole’

Just days after unveiling new signing Joe Cole, Liverpool have been forced to address rumours that the ex-Chelsea star had been signed purely on account of his fabled ‘unlocking’ abilities.

Cole is said to be looking to make an immediate impact by breaking into the team. Specifically, unlocking his team-mates’ reinforced mansion gates while they are out on European away trips, when he is likely to be sidelined with “a ‘niggling injury’, nahworramean?”. He has already demonstrated his eye for an opportunity by stealing Andriy Voronin’s iconic number 10 shirt from fellow new signing Milan Jovanovic, who was sure he left it just there.

(more…)

Advertisements

Read Full Post »

With their dreams shattered by a touring England side on Monday, Platinum Stars’ much vaunted ‘Platinum Generation’ are this week beginning the post-mortem. This was supposed to be the Stars’ great chance to shine, but yet again they have fallen short on the largest stage.

After going behind to a shock early goal to what appeared to be a competition-winning team mascot, the Stars fell apart entirely, conceding a second to the unemployed Joseph Cole, and a humiliating late third strike to a man who had seemingly wandered in from the car-park where he had being previously enjoying a nutritious fight.

(more…)

Read Full Post »