Posts Tagged ‘Gordon Strachan’

Paddy McCourt

Celtic stars Paddy McCourt and Niall McGinn have sought to thank the generous and anonymous fan who has sent them some “super-cool” bullets in the post. Though the sender of the bullets is yet to come forward, the players have declared him “totally awesome”.

Speaking at a press conference, McCourt spoke of his gratitude to the unknown ballistics benefactor and wishes he could meet whoever it was, “as they must be so freaking badass”. The winger speculated that the sender “most likely also has a motorbike, and smokes, without even coughing afterwards”.

“Bullets!” added McGinn.



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Gareth Southgate was this week relieved of his position as manager of Middlesbrough Football Club. The timing of the decision shortly after a home win against Derby surprised many, but reports emanating from the vicinity of Steve Gibson’s mouth suggested that the decision to sack Southgate had in fact been taken as long as two weeks ago, following a poor run of form and results. FistedAway can exclusively reveal the true reason behind Gibson’s delay as it transpires that a Post-it reminding him to “Sack Gareth” had fallen off the chairman’s monitor and had been swept up with the dust around the extension sockets.


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According to the BBC Website:


FistedAway can exclusively reveal the contents of this dossier after Munich’s chief scout left it in Monorail Music in Glasgow, on top of their excellent selections of Can and Neu records.

  • McGeady progressed from Celtic Schoolboys to join on a full-time contract at 16. On his official website he says “Full-time training is a great help“. Other things that Aiden thinks are a great help are: “breathing oxygen“, “eating food” and “taking your trousers down before going to the toilet. Always before“.


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