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Posts Tagged ‘Frank Lampard’


4+8 = Euro 2012

For almost two years, English fans trembled in fear and bowed their heads in shame. For over a decade, the glorious tandem of Steven Gerrard and Frank Lampard had bravely led the Three Lions to countless second rounds. Sadly, it appeared that Don Fabio Capello had forever axed the dynamic duo following World Cup 2010. Brits feared that they may never see the terrific tandem together in action again. Luckily, in one simple announcement, Roy Hodgson has revived the dreams of a nation.
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Lampard and Gerrard

::: FistedAway today welcomes a guest post from Elliott, editor of the rather lovely Futfanatico :::

For the past decade, two midfielders have owned the centre of the park for the Three Lions: Steven Gerrard of Liverpool and Frank Lampard of Chelsea. For years, fans have watched these two players make the same run, step on one another’s toes, lazily expect the other to tackle, fail to beat up men and pass to the other team. But as the sun sets on their respective careers, fans know ask: can the two of them successfully not botch the job in midfield at the same time?

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Chelsea 10/11 Adidas Home Kit

The launch will be supported by an advertising campaign ‘Made from 100% Chelsea’ developed by pop artist and Chelsea fan Sir Peter Blake.

Blake, who most famously designed the artwork for the Beatles album Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band and Oasis’ greatest hits album Stop the Clocks, has created a variety of montages depicting Chelsea’s history and heritage.

With our usual journalistic integrity and commitment to the truth when it comes to Chelsea, Fisted Away would like to put forward a more…realistic view.

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::: FistedAway today welcomes a guest post from Elliott, editor of the rather lovely Futfanatico :::

The Capello reign of England has been characterised by one theme: discipline. From intense training sessions to WAG and cell phone bans, the Italian has instilled a meritocratic selection regime fueled by the foot soldier’s mentality. Which makes the recent untrue rumour of his prank on Michael Owen all the more shocking.

Owen has been Capello’s bogeyman, his mercurial form for Manchester United eliciting calls for selection and rejection, sometimes in the same day. Yet a telephone call by the Italian a few months ago set in chain a prank crueller than the injury inducing fate of the striker’s blotted career.

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martin_samuel

Hello children and Daily Mail readers, I’m Martin Samuel, yeah? Martin is derived from ‘God of War’ and Samuel means ‘God has heard’. Get that? ‘God of War, God has heard’. God fears ME.

I can tell from the way that you look deep into my beards that you want to lay your head there and go to sleep. I like to watch you breathe and feel your hot breath waft through my bearded forest.

This week my beardy eyes have been drawn to Giles Smith’s ‘Top 50 Chelsea Players’. All well and good I thought, but someone should get the leading authority on Chelsea Football Club to write their own list. Unfortunately Tim Lovejoy wasn’t available, so I’ve been asked to do it instead.

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martin_samuel

Hello children and Daily Mail readers. I’m Martin Samuel. Yeah, Martin Samuel. Two first names. Two more than you, you plum.

This week, my beardy eyes have been caught by the Steven Gerrard story. As usual, British justice has moved with the speed of a me, and an incident that took place not even a whole year ago has made a late sprint into court to get on the end of a cross. Like the rest of you, I am sure that you have been on tenterhooks to see justice served.  It’s a terrible example to children to see a role model acting like that. I’m sure I speak for all of us – and I invariably assume that I should – that growing up we all looked up to Southport businessmen din’t we? How does this rotter think he can get away with it?

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samuel

"My, what beardy eyes you have" ...."All the better to eat you with"

Hello children and Daily Mail readers. I’m Martin Samuel. Yeah, Martin Samuel.

– Why, yes! I suppose my beard does look like candy floss. It is hair flavour.

Anyway, you are probably all dying to know who is in my team of the week aren’t you? I have spent my weekend closely analysing the games, consulting statistics, reviewing highlights, and making painstaking notes.

Then I took my pencil and jammed it repeatedly in my ear, forcing any new insight out of my brain. I watched the very essence of lucidity dripping down the side of my head, lost forever  in the enchanted forest of beard.

I also ate the notes. Needed some salt, the words were bland and vapid.

Upon regaining consciousness, I was ready to make my selection for the team of the week. Well, I think that you will be very surprised.

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