Retired American defender Eddie Pope was pleased to report that his recent visit to the United Kingdom went off without a hitch. Defiant in the face of protesters calling for him to leave, an observer in the Heathrow departure lounge on Sunday evening reported that Pope said his visit to Britain “went fine, thanks”.
Pope, pictured above taking in a matinee performance of Ghost Stories, spent three days in London last week and admitted that he was pleased, if bewildered to see all the people who had come out to see him. “Sure, the whole thing was great – seeing all those fine people lined up with their colourful banners and chants”, mused the twentieth most-capped USMNT player. “Admittedly I didn’t get a chance to read all of the banners, and the chants were a bit muffled, but I’m sure that they were all wishing me well. British people are sooo polite”.
Though claiming to be unconcerned for his safety, Pope insisted on travelling around London in a hermetically sealed subterranean train which he mysteriously called “the subway”, probably some kind of security code. When asked about the extortionate costs of the visit to British taxpayers, an agitated Pope insisted that he was well within his rights to claim back VAT on goods he had bought during the visit. “If anything, I actually gave money back to the UK – it wasn’t until the last day that I realised I could have saved money by getting an Oyster card”.