After confirming they are to put Liverpool up for sale, George Gillett and Tom Hicks took some time out of their punishing schedule to offer some indispensible advice on how to go about selling your own club:
Make Anfield smell of freshly-baked bread and coffee
Not only have these smells have been proven to make people instantly feel at home in a new place, it will also help get rid of that weird ‘Dirk’ smell.
Make sure everything is clean and tidy
This one sounds simple, but people often forget it! Make sure that the club is spotless, and you haven’t left anything lying around. It is no good sticking Alberto Aquilani behind a pot plant, he will be noticed.
Showing the property
Although he is steeped in club history and no-one is more knowledgeable about the stadium and locality, do not be tempted to let Jamie Carragher show around prospective buyers. Apparently, some people find his charming accent a mite difficult to understand on occasion. Also, no-one likes being spat on all the time.
Paint everything in neutral colours
A fresh coat of paint in a muted, moderate tone can do wonders for the ambience of the place. It will add a sense of light and space, and be sure to lead to success.
What makes your club special?
It’s the unique things about your club that will really seal the deal. If you have a successful history, or well-stocked trophy cabinet, then don’t hide them away. No, be sure to mention them at every opportunity. Every. Opportunity.
In any argument, no matter how irrelevant it is to the point being made. This will endear your club to everyone.
Valuing the property
Valuation isn’t a scientific process. You need to take a lot of factors in to your calculations: the age of the property, any assets, market fluctutations, licensing opportunities. This is all pretty complicated though, so why not just claim you’ll get four times the amount and knock off early for the week? You’ve earned it.