As Daniel de Ridder’s loan spell with Hapoel Tel Aviv surely signals the end of his uneventful Wigan career, a sheepish Dave Whelan has admitted that the winger had been a mistake, as he had thought that he had secured the signature of top philosopher and founder of deconstruction Jacques Derrida.
“I’ll admit, I had my suspicions,” revealed Whelan. “When he first came to the club, I tried to engage him in a discussion on Aporias, but the boy thought they were a Greek team with whom we had arranged a friendly”.
On Whelan’s instruction, De Ridder was signed by Steve Bruce in 2008. When asked if he was aware of Whelan’s mistake, the manager replied “Why, me? Ahm just a simple lad from the North East, I divven’t know nowt about philosophers and aal that. But even ah knew that de Ridder was the wrong fella. His play kept breaking down, like subjecting the text itself to the ultimate scrutiny by rejecting the common models of knowledge and language, and – as ahm sure yous’ll aal know – according to which understanding something requires acquaintance with its meaning, ideally a kind of acquaintance in which this meaning is directly present to consciousness”.
“And aal that shite”, he added, as everyone tried to not stare at his nose.
Though the midfielder never played under Roberto Martinez, the current Wigan manager gave a more balanced view of his time at Wigan. “For sure, he was no Derrida. But I must give Daniel credit though, as in training he fully embodied “the myth of presence”; I am almost certain that he was around”.
All in all, the Latics protracted De Ridder transfer debacle is believed to be the most unlikely footballer/philosopher mix-up since Ternana signed Luigi ‘Jean-Paul’ Sartor.