Following a successful recent loan spell, Gianfranco Zola is looking to make Snow a permanent signing. “Snow’s contribution to the Wolves game was the best striking performance of our season” said the increasingly haunted spectre of a once hirsute Shire horse.
Harry Redknapp has signed some gritted dripping Slush, and despite its lack of consistency and rapidly depreciating ability, awarded it a contract of £80,000 a week.
Phil Brown has been linked with signing the Sun itself. Brown, a long-time admired of the Sun was spotted watching it at a closed doors training session. “Don’t come in! I’m very naked” said the somehow-still-manager.
Manchester City have been linked with a move for Quicksand. Sources close to Mancini have revealed that the manager is worried about the dressing room chemistry when integrating this new signing, but plans to sit it between Craig Bellamy and Robinho.
With no money to spend on actual signings, Alex Ferguson is working on an internal project of developing a rapidly brewing Shitstorm at Old Trafford. The Shitstorm is not ready to make its full debut yet, but is expected to make its impact on the team over the coming seasons.