Sunderland striker Darren Bent has spoken of his delight at representing England rubbishly against Brazil at an FA press conference this morning. FistedAway listened in:
I’ve dreamed of playing rubbish against Brazil since I was a small boy. Imagine then my delight when Fabio gave me the call to say “Darren, get yourself over to Qatar, I need you to play rubbish in a friendly“. It was like all my Christmasses had come at once, but this time my parents had actually bothered to get me a present.
Basically, I’m just pleased to be getting another shout. I thought that I wouldn’t get another chance to play rubbish for England, that 2006 would forever be the pinnacle of my rubbish international career. I only hope that Mr Capello gives me the chance to play rubbish at a World Cup. That is my rubbish dream”.
However, the competition to be England’s worst striker is hotting up with the 2010 World Cup on the horizon. Bent’s position is under threat from Michael Owen who has been stating his case with several consistently rubbish performances for Manchester United this season. When asked about what he felt he could offer Capello that would give him the edge over his rivals, Bent countered that there was much more to his international game than just not scoring goals:
Sure, not scoring goals is the bread and butter of any rubbish international striker, but what you have to remember is that I have so much more to offer: my first touch is poor, my runs are unreadable and my link-up play limited. I have got the quarter-round game that marks me out from the rest.
Admittedly my league form has been a worry; I’ve been scoring freely and have been attracting praise, this is disappointing. I’m working hard to turn it around but I’ve not had much luck of late. I had one chance against Liverpool where I tried my darndest to screw it hopelessly wide, only for it to deflect in off of a beach ball. Then all of a sudden you’re attracting headlines for all the wrong reasons.
Scoring. Not Twitter. Have I mentioned that I do that? Yeah. I do. I’m doing it right now. With my spare hand. And remember, if DB7 is ‘The Truth’, then the world is a lie”
One thing Bent can rely on is the full backing of Steve Bruce, who has previously stated his opinion that Darren could be as rubbish as anyone in the world on the international stage. Bruce reiterated his stance yesterday when questioned whilst leaving the training ground pub.”Look, Darren is still young” said the manager, while everyone in the room tried to avoid looking at his nose, “I don’t think that England has seen how potentially rubbish he can be. The skylight is the limit”.