At his hearing at the Court of Arbitration for Sport, a tearful Frank Arnesen today broke down and revealed that he was tapped-up as a child. He plaintively howled “Tapping up is all I know”, before the hearing was suspended.
The revelation shocked many within the court, but it is a known fact that children who have been tapped up are 82% more likely to go on to tap up children themselves. When Arnesen was called to give evidence against his abuser, an unnamed Russian, he was asked where he had been tapped up. To audible gasps from the public gallery, a shaking Arnesen pointed to a man’s most private area. His wallet.
FistedAway can now exclusively reveal this extract from Arnesen’s autobiography, ‘A Child Named Porritt’:
“It started after I joined Tottenham. I was new in the city, I was young, and I can see now that I was naive. I got a taste for it there at Spurs, the power was intoxicating. But it was never enough; our youth prospects were terrible. I thought I had got my hands on two wide-eyed kids from the provinces – who I had heard could do things to make your head spin – but they turned out to be Andy Reid and Michael Dawson”
“But one night I met a glamorous Russian man in a nightclub. He said he could get me all the European teenagers I could ever need. My head was swimming. I felt so…powerful. Like I imagine John Terry feels when he parks in a disabled space.”
“My Russian benefactor showed me down a corridor at the back of the champagne room, and handed me the key to a room. Trembling, I opened the door. There it was before me; a whole world of possiblities, everything I had ever dreamed of and more. It was full of nubile young Gaels, Miroslavs and Jacopos. And all for me. I dived in.”