::: FistedAway today welcomes a guest post from Elliott, editor of the rather lovely Futfanatico :::
The Spanish season has not even started, yet rumors of a Real locker-room tension swirl about. While blanquillo fans dreamed of Cristiano Ronaldo and Sergio Ramos running rampant down the right flank, reality has another thing to say. Or rather, personality. It seems the two of them absolutely detest one another – and it has nothing to do with soccer.
Have you ever seen more than one cock strutting about the hen house? Can two lions co-exist in a single pride? At the Santiago Bernabeu, the Spaniard and Portuguese have waged a subtle yet provocative personal feud: style. Mr. Ramos and Ronaldo have said little in the public or private, yet their clothes do the talking.
It all started after a grueling training session, when a nervous Ronaldo asked Ramos why he had opted to wear Versace-brand green, skintight jeans, as opposed to the CR7 brand. Ramos had no real explanation, but held a grudge over the Portuguese’s successful side business. Without thinking, he quipped about child labor and poor stitching, and thus blew a gust of wind to the bright red embers.
Ronaldo responded by wearing the absolutely tightest shorts possible – hoping to intimidate Ramos by out-flaunting his manhood. This is a common tactic on the Iberian peninsula, where the good Queen has not taught the dark-skinned Latins shame. However, Ronaldo’s plan backfired. Ramos pointed out that most males over the age of 16 start to grow hair on their bodies. Yet Ronaldo? Yet Ronaldo? Perhaps his hair is even a wig?
Things reached an apex at an Ibiza nightclub, when Ronaldo bought every teammate except Ramos a drink. Ramos responded by buying his own drink, but then sending a very angry text message to Iker Casillas venting his frustration. This struck some as odd, though, seeing as Casillas was standing roughly four feet from Ramos at the time.
::: Elliott is the editor of Futfanatico :::