Posted in Tony's Fiver, tagged Ben Folds 5, Dave Clark Five, Gabriele Marcotti, Glenn Hoddle, Jackson 5, Maroon 5, MC5, teddy sheringham, Tony Cascarino, when I was at Marseille on October 4, 2009 | 1 Comment »
"Look upon my works ye mighty, and wonder how I get paid for this"
They say you should never go back, and that is certainly true for me and certain parts of Glasgow. But a comeback at this level, at this age? Moreover, I can’t believe the tactical naivety of these jokers. You just can’t continue to play that formation when you are getting no movement whatsoever from the frontman.
Posted in News, tagged Andy Townsend, England, ITV, ITV Sport, matt smith, Netherlands, slungel, teddy sheringham, Tony Cascarino, when I was at Marseille on August 17, 2009 | 2 Comments »
Cleaners at the Orange Arena have discovered that visiting ITV pundit Edward ‘Teddy’ Sheringham has actually been continuing a solitary discussion of the most obvious talking points of the Netherlands vs England friendly for almost a full week after the match ended, without anyone noticing.
“I could hear a whinnying unmodulated drone coming from the room, but I assumed that Edwin (a new member of the stadium cleaning team) had just left the humidifier on again” revealed head cleaner Dirk van Cleef. “He is such a slungel!”
“Yes, Edwin too” added van Cleef.
Posted in Tony's Fiver, tagged Joe Kinnear, John terry, Peter Crouch, phalanges, teddy sheringham, Tony Cascarino, when I was at Marseille on December 2, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
1. My Thumb
Strong, dominant, upright. It is the captain of my hand. And if my thumb was to be consistently found wanting at international level, park in disabled spaces, openly urinate into pint glasses in the middle of pubs, commit adultery I would still defend it to the hilt.
Posted in Tony's Fiver, tagged Tony Cascarino, when I was at Marseille on October 3, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
1. My favourite rapping artist Nas had a song called One Love, but he is wrong. There are many kinds of love, more than you can imagine. Some of them hurt.
2. “They” say that two heads are better than one, but I can’t remember a two headed footballer from my time in the game, so I don’t think it’s true.
3. Three is supposed to be a crowd, but when I was at Marseille, I’d have loved that kind of support. I was deeply lonely. So…alone.
4. Four, Four, Four, Four. I’m sick of hearing that four is “Fantastic” or “Fab”. I think it is facking shiiit.
5. The highest number to which I can count; originally I wanted this column to be called “Tony’s Twelfty”, but The Times pointed out that did not exist.
