A Message from Nottingham Forest

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Video Game Vault – Cacapa The Rapper

Welcome to the first in a new Fisted Away series.

Video Game Vault will document some of the rarest, innovative and least successful football-themed video games ever, as we bring you a comprehensive look at some of the titles that literally nobody wanted to buy.

We start with a game which, although spawning the interactive musical gaming revolution that has resulted in Nintendo’s Wii and Guitar Hero, was described by Dominik Diamond on its release as “a sack of old shite“.

Cacapa The Rappa

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Kinnear looks to strengthen swearing squad

"Faackin ballacks"

A Fisted Away January Transfer Window EXCLUSIVE:

Joe Kinnear has been voicing his intent to add depth to Newcastle’s first team swearing squad since extending his contract at the end of November. Now it seems he has drawn up what the manger has excitedly described as a “bollockbusting” list of January targets writes Nigel Spickanspan.

Having failed to lift the club out of the bottom three, some of the fiery manager’s cuss choices have been called into question in recent weeks; star insult Fuck has been dragging its heels over a decision on a new contract, whilst growing injury problems have depleted the ranks of Kinnear’s ‘balls and bollocks slurs’ derived defensive line. Fan-favourite Arse is sorely in need of a rest, but Kinnear is wary of risking youth-team profanity prospects like Gaylord and Jerkface in a relegation battle. Former club legend Ruddy Hell now has his best years behind him, and has decided to retire at the end of the season to focus on a coaching role at the club.

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Tony’s Five… Fingers

1. My Thumb

Strong, dominant, upright. It is the captain of my hand. And if my thumb was to be consistently found wanting at international level, park in disabled spaces, openly urinate into pint glasses in the middle of pubs, commit adultery I would still defend it to the hilt.

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