Posts Tagged ‘Joe Kinnear’
A Fisted Away January Transfer Window EXCLUSIVE:
Joe Kinnear has been voicing his intent to add depth to Newcastle’s first team swearing squad since extending his contract at the end of November. Now it seems he has drawn up what the manger has excitedly described as a “bollockbusting” list of January targets writes Nigel Spickanspan.
Having failed to lift the club out of the bottom three, some of the fiery manager’s cuss choices have been called into question in recent weeks; star insult Fuck has been dragging its heels over a decision on a new contract, whilst growing injury problems have depleted the ranks of Kinnear’s ‘balls and bollocks slurs’ derived defensive line. Fan-favourite Arse is sorely in need of a rest, but Kinnear is wary of risking youth-team profanity prospects like Gaylord and Jerkface in a relegation battle. Former club legend Ruddy Hell now has his best years behind him, and has decided to retire at the end of the season to focus on a coaching role at the club.
1. My Thumb
Strong, dominant, upright. It is the captain of my hand. And if my thumb was to be consistently found wanting at international level, park in disabled spaces, openly urinate into pint glasses in the middle of pubs, commit adultery I would still defend it to the hilt.