It’s been a while since I have come across something so hideous – downright hideous – that I might comment, “That’s a deeeownright hiiiiideous decision, Mr. Clattenburg!”.
But, with the Autumn leaves slowly turning from green to brown, like my children taking their mother’s surname instead of mine, I picked up a copy of The Beach Boys 11th studio album, Pet Sounds, which made me wonder way on earth I bother getting up in the mornings.
The first half started well enough with a well-executed move of two seconds silence but this proved to be the highlight of an otherwise taaaawdry . Wouldn’t It Be Nice exposed Brian Wilson’s idealist and romantic musical leadership. To him I say
“Wouldn’t it be nice, Mr Wilson,
If you told the truth to your listener, like I do?
And wouldn’t it be nice if we could wake up
Without wondering why the pillow is wet with tears?”
Admittedly it doesn’t scan as well as his version, but you catch my drift.
After that? Well, there weren’t even any hits! While some of you may labour under the idea that Let’s Go Away for Awhile is the most perfect instrumental of all time, I would suggest that Mr Wilson go away for awhile and write some lyrics!
The first half ends promisingly with a story about a boat the Sloop John B, but ends the first verse by getting in a bout of fisticuffs alongside his Dad. Just petulant song writing! Grow up Beach Boys; you’re setting a teeeeearrible example. Handbags, ladies and gentlemen! Let me know if I’m being unreasonable here, but maybe if Murry Wilson had hit Brian a bit harder, he wouldn’t have written such a frankly silly song! Ha!
Instead of learning from their mistakes the Beach Boys launch straight into the second half. And it’s the same old story folks! God Only Knows what they talked about in the dressing room. Yet more heartbreaking movements that almost made me think about treating Mark Saggers a bit better, then it all peters out with another pristine instrumental. I can’t believe people pay for this stuff, I really can’t.
Nevertheless, I might have got this one all wrong folks, I can make a mistake. After all, my wife tells me that it’s good to connect with our feelings, but then I tell her “Caroline! No”.