The excitement was palpable around television centre this morning, as excited BBC fans welcomed back legendary pundit Alan Shearer in advance of this afternoon’s televised game between West Bromwich Albion vs Newcastle United. In advance of his triumphant return to sitting on a sofa, FistedAway spoke to the fans in a not-at-all ghoulish, exploiting-the-mentally-ill fashion.
“We’re over the moon, I can’t believe it. He knows that sofa inside out.” enthused one fan, adding “If you cut Alan, he bleeds the licence fee”.
Amid accusations that the fickle fans have been down this road before, another fan reacted angrily. “Look, this messiah is different to the countless other messiahs we have followed before. Alan isn’t Peter Schmeichel. He isn’t Graham Le Saux. And he isn’t that Judas Stubbs either”.
The BBC have seen a boost from Shearer’s return, as earlier this week, fans were queuing up at the gift shop to buy the BBC Pundit replica shirt. The shirt features layered chest panelling, climacool technology and an implausibly big collar. The full replica kit also includes a tie with an implausibly large knot, and trousers that seem to go tighter as you look at them. A special edition Shearer shirt has been produced to commemorate the comeback, with the double-cuffs inscribed own personal latin mottos: “nihil dicit” on the left and “absit iniuria verbis” on the right.
To his credit, Shearer and Keane did have one of the most amusing exchanges of all time “Do you want me to sign it?” Too bad the fight was, ahem, not up to par
Thank goodness for that – a football website that’s not afraid to do Latin jokes. I always suspected that Shearer read Ciceronian speeches each night, and the deliciously ironic cultured motto against banality-spouting punditry… well, wow.
Sadly I’m not in Blighty so I am not able to see the Shearer sofa squirm/sofa squirm Shear/sofa Shearer squir… I’ll get on with it… so I for one would like to see the Geordie couch potato head back in the temporary position as the Barcodes manager, so that I can see the sideline Shearer squirm/ Shearer squirm side… you can see where I’m going with this…